I've earned these...

Inevitably, every time I go to a drug store I take at least 5 minutes scanning the latest wrinkle creams. I carefully read the labels hoping to find some small sign that this one will miraculously work better than all the others. I delicately hold the jars, entranced by the packaging. I twist, sniff and then curse at myself for all of the money I've wasted thus far on these over advertised products.

The truth is I have been thinking about wrinkle cream since I was about 15. I would secretly stare at any woman I saw who I guesstimated to be over 30, carefully examining all of her laugh lines and creases, wondering what her skin care routine was. I vowed to myself that I would take care of my skin and at the first sign of a unwanted line I would high tail it to the corner store, purchase the best stuff they had (or the prettiest packaged) and stop those damn wrinkle right in their track! I like my smooth youthful skin and wasn't about to give it up without a fight! Oh, how vain...

Fast forward some 17 years. I wash my face at night, turning my freshly scrubbed skin many different angles to catch the rays of that unforgiving fluorescent light and sigh. I proceed to my bedroom and lather on my latest purchase, hoping that by morning my deepening crows feet will disappear at the same time saying a silent prayer that these frown lines near my jaw can only be seen by me.

Just as I am succumbing to the idea that this may be a losing battle, Chloe runs in singing the latest 'Black Eyed Peas' song, as only a 2 year old can, and gets me laughing so hard that I forget my obsession with my face.

As I lay my head down and begin to think of all the things I am thankful for, it dawns on me that these hated lines on my face tell about who I am, where I've been, and dammit, I've earned them.

I've laughed, cried, and fallen in and out of love. I've lied, prayed, drank, traveled, forgiven and cursed. I married my best friend, birthed two amazing daughters and buried a best friend. I am a wife, a mother, a friend, a sister, a daughter, an aunt, a cousin, and a teacher. I've been both a walking contradiction and the perfect example. I am unfinished.

32 years of life gave me these lines and I will forge ahead, openly, to the next 32. Even better to the 32 after that. Wrinkles....hmph.....bring them on.